Moving to a new domain

Time to move on. Check out my new blog!
Hope to see you there!

2013 the year that was

or rather the year that had to be.

2013 - would not be the year I'd like to relive again.

I'm sure like many others, my year has been bulleted by highlights and low lights.

But perhaps we just had a few too many appearances of perceived lowlights or significant life milestones in one year. 

It started out with moving house last Christmas, then losing a job, then losing a loved family member. 

Throw in the multiple surprise visits to the ER made for a memorable year.

Don't get me wrong, it definitely has been a year of growth and getting to know myself better, of deepening relationships,  of being inspired, of learning new things. I've seen my family blossom, as we have had time to engage with each other to which I am thankful.

Christmas was fantastic, the little man got into the spirit of it, and I'm happy to say that the boy is learning self control! Let's just say no presents that were not suppose to be opened before Christmas were opened. 

Hosting our first Christmas held minimal drama, everyone chipped in to help. And it was delightful to hang out with each other. There was definitely lots of merriment shared.

But like I said, one can not have too much change in a year, so I will certainly be glad for 2014 to come around! 

what about you, how was 2013? Was it a memorable year? Or are you looking forward to the clock ticking over to 2014?

5 things about Christmas

Been a quiet week here on the blog, with a head cold and a broken fridge taking up most of my attention. And going fridge shopping with a 3 year old is fun... perhaps not.

Over the past month, I had been thinking about what Christmas means to me. And so here are my 5 things about Christmas.

Christmas is about reflection
Christmas affords me the time to take stock of the year just past. To see how far I have come, and where I have grown;  of things accomplished, of things yet to be done, and of changes to make.

Christmas is about generosity.
Not just of things or money but of time and spirit. It's about looking out for those who have little, and sharing what we have.

Christmas is about family and friends
To spend time as a family unit and reconnect. To invest time in people we love.

Christmas is about thanksgiving
The whole concept of Thanksgiving in the US is really appealing to me. And to some extent at least for me Christmas is a equivalent. It's an opportunity to be thankful for all that we have, in what ever form it may take. For jobs, or no job, for children or no children, you get the gist of it 

Christmas is about celebration.
Celebrating the birth of God's gift to man

I know that for some Christmas is a difficult time of the year, either because of lost loved ones or suffering or loneliness or broken relationships or unfulfilled desires. I have been there before in the days when we struggled with infertility. So I'm sharing this that by Steven Curtis Chapman today that brought a smile to my face.



Merry Christmas to you and yours!
May your home be filled with joy!

Gift giving

Gift giving seems to be a choice topic at this time of the year, and the inbox inundated with things to buy. 

A few years back for Christmas, we were all getting lots of things(mostly not really useful or wanted), and there came the stress with finding the perfect gift for that person. 

We decided to stop the madness for adults on both sides of the family. We do a kris kringle. We each get one person allocated  to us and we are responsible for buying a gift for them within a budget.

Everyone, then usually puts a list of things that they'd like. And the giver, then goes to pick what they want to buy. And you only have to buy one gift! A win win situation really! 

These days even for the kids we might chip in towards bigger gifts from the family. I much rather do that than the kid get a whole lot of crap

My preference if you are going to give me a gift  -  give me something that I will use, or want  not something that sits in the cupboard only to be tossed out or given away. Such a waste of resources, of the materials used to make it and of the the money used to buy it. 

Or give me nothing at all, I'd be ok with that too!

How do you do gifts for adults?

Linking up with Grace today.

Call for help

So last week, I was sharing with you the Women with Drive event. So what happens later in the week? 

In an unsurprising turn of events, the car doesn't start and just when I was in a rush to get the boy to daycare!  Doesn't that always happen, when you are in a hurry to get somewhere. 

Now there really was nothing I could do, but to call for help as it wasn't a flat tyre and we didn't have a spare battery lying around.

The automated message on NRMA road service assistance relayed that it would take up to 90 minutes before I would be attended to. No surprise there.

Thankfully, they turn up 15 minutes later. (I did love the text messaging service that alerted me to that fact! Thanks NRMA!) But alas the joy is short lived, as the battery was really on it's last legs. And unfortunately, the battery service has to be requested, which would mean another wait. An hour later, the battery was replaced and we were on our way.

The upside of the morning, the Little Man got to see the what's under the car bonnet and watch the mechanics work - which he thought was simply the best.
What a funny thing about life!!

our lonely tree

Our Christmas tree is up, with all the sparkly baubles that attract little hands come constant reminders of "looking with your eyes only!"

But our tree is looking very lonely without presents under it. And I'm wrestling with how to resolve this 

Typically BC(before child), we would pile the presents under the tree way before Christmas eve. 

Now with a 3 year old, dare I put temptation in his way and so test his self control? And perhaps even been a cruel parent? 

The tree would look as it should with presents under it, but then potentially have to rewrap presents. Then the reality of having multiple episodes of a child breaking into presents potentially not his, is not what I'd like to endure.

Or should I just take the safe approach, and keep the presents in the cupboard till Christmas eve?

What to do? Would you take a risk or be conservative? When do you put the presents under the Christmas tree?

Finished

The whirlwind of the the last two weeks has dissipated. 

This evening, my last major commitment was completed. Did I mention that I was running a gingerbread event at our church, during my last week of TAFE. Gladly I can say that the weight of two weeks has been lifted. 

TAFE is finished! My assignments are all in.

Gingerbread event is finished!

I am looking forward to December. 

There are a whole bunch of things - fun things on the list to do before Christmas for Christmas, there are also the not so glamorous like cleaning my desk and doing the filing, but I am looking forward to it.

Are you excited about December? I am !

Alive

With all the things that have been on,  and the assignments that I had left to complete, Sunday was it for me. I worked all night through to the morning.
I could have stopped, as there would have been time in class to complete it. However, adrenalin took over and I kept powering through and finished my assignment!

I am surprised that I held up pretty well through the day for my class, there were a few moments when the brain did not engage with the mouth, but all in all I got through the day.

The other thing was that I did not looked trashed at least no one mentioned it. Or is it because I already look like that from sleep deprivation in general? 

So last night I was tempted to skip Zumba again!
Thankfully or fortunately I didn't. I felt like I had to go, you see I usually drive a friend there, and I did feel bad that she'd miss out again for the second week in a row. So I dragged myself there. 

It was a good decision! An hour of moving my feet to the music, waving my hands in the air and jumping up and down was invigorating.
I was pumped and felt ALIVE ! Those endorphins really got me going, you know that moment when you feel so vibrant and full of life, that you can take on the World! 

Sometimes we do stuff we don't really feel like we want to do at the time because we say we're too tired or it's too hard, but it always yields far greater benefits than we can imagine. Last night was it! 

So today, I'm just going to do stuff I don't want to do and see what happens! 

Linking up for IBOT with Jess today!

PS - I ordered the wine!

Exhausted

Is it just me or are you feeling it too? 
It seems like the year is moving way to fast with just so many things to do and get to. Then throw in a child that wakes in the middle of the night. Makes for one exhausted mum!

Admittedly some late nights were self inflicted - like watching a chick flick was good for my sanity right?

Tonight I was suppose to head out for a zumba class, I chose to ditch it instead. I opted to have a nap. I know that going to the class would have been good, but the sleep was needed.

2 hours later, I am up and writing this. Am very thankful that it was Daddy's night to put Little Man to bed. Am feeling refreshed though 

There were other plans for the blog tonight, but truth be told, I ditched it too.

I've just looked at my diary and already feeling the weight of events scheduled in the next two weeks, alongside trying to get all my assignments done, and making sure our household continues to run. The to do list keeps growing, and it looks like I am just going to have to focus on the urgent things - and not the important just to keep my head afloat. 

Thankfully, there is light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to get through the next 2 weeks. I am just going to have to do one thing at a time, and hopefully everything else will fall into place. 

Just rewrote my todo list, am already feeling a bit less daunted by what I have to get completed. 

What tips do you have for an exhausted individual? Are you feeling exhausted too?


Linking up for IBOT with Jess today!

Adoption

I do not profess to be an expert on adoption, but I do have a personal perspective to share. And my experience is clearly biased as adoption was the means to which we became a family of 3.

After years of trying without much such success. It became abundantly clear that we could never add to our family naturally. Infertility would win, or so it would seem. 

But ever being the planner, in the last year of IVF treatments, I had already been investigating alternative options to form our family.

It would be fair to say, that we did not get to this place willingly or easily. It took time to get our heads around this , and eventually M and I ended up in sync. We would go down the adoption route.

For various reasons that were important to us, we chose to adopt through international channels. From our perspective, we felt that we were able to offer a child a loving home and stability.

After months of form filling, interviews with social workers, we were finally approved. Paperwork seemed to be an inherent part of the process alongside waiting. In the end the waiting would be worthwhile, our child today is happy and greatly loved by his family. 

One thing that did surprise me when we shared our news upon my son's arrival, is the number of people that we knew unbeknown to us that were touched by adoption. 

This week, November 10-17 is National Adoption Awareness week.

In Australia, the number of adoptions finalised during 2011-2012 was 333 of which 149 from intercountry adoptions, 59 local adoptions and 129 from known child adoptions. Adoption has been on decline and we have one of the lowest adoption rates in the world. At the same time we have the a disproportionate number of abortions in the country.

In 2012, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare there are 40000 children in out of home care. Children who are unable to live with their families due to neglect or abuse. Yet the adoption has not been seen as an suitable alternative to create care for children in the system. 

You hear of kids that are in care that move from foster family to foster family, can you imagine how unsettling would that be.

I recall in an adoption seminar that I went to, a teenage boy who had been in long term care with his foster family, shared that all he wanted was to be adopted by them. 

You hear of the shortage of foster carers.  I can rationalise why that would be, who would like to care and love for child and know that at some point in time the child would move on. 

It is heartening to me that here in our state of New South Wales since late 2012 that there are moves to change the current policy and consider adoption as an option for neglected kids that are in care.

I know that adoption is not a black and white issue, it is not clear cut. Throughout out history both here and abroad there have been issues with this; forced removal of children has left bitter memories for those impacted. I feel sad about that.

Practices have changed. Today, adoption is an open affair, where birth parents know who is adopting their child and provide their consent. Contact can be or is maintained. And at the heart of it, is the what is in the best interest of the child. 

From my point of view, adoption offers a child a secure place, it gives them a sense of belonging where they can flourish. The image I have in my head is that of a child learning to jump into the water, waiting for the outstretched arms of their parent. As they hesitate, they are reassured and knowing that there is someone to catch them, they leap into the water into their parents waiting arms.

To me adoption has been the most marvellous way to love!

Have you been touched by adoption? 

Joining IBOT today

The present

When your head is stuck on decisions that really when one thinks about it, not really meaningful in life scheme of things, things that have been coined first world problems.

Life throws up a speed bump. It rattles your world and makes you stop. It causes you to pause and consider what is important in life.

I've had one of those weeks. 

In the wee hours of the night this past week, I am woken by M. Half asleep, all I recall of the event is ...in pain, going to the medical centre..."

Waking now! I reply "want me to drive you?"

"You can't, the boy"

"oh yes! ok." I roll back to sleep.

A little while later, I hear the keys in the front door.

Just as I slip back to sleep, I am rewoken by " going to the ER"

Now am really awake. I ask "what's wrong?"

"They don't know, they said to go the ER."

Realising there is nothing I can do, all I can say is "I love you! keep me posted"

The front door shuts. I lay semi conscious on the bed, in my helpless state all I can do is pray.

Fast forward 30 mins, my phone buzzes with an incoming text advising me of what is happening. I remain semi awake till daybreak.

The next 36 hours are a bit of a haze, as I reorganise diaries, sort out arrangements for the Little Man, and work out how to get the car which had been taken to the hospital.

Tests are completed and thankfully nothing is found. He is on the mend. 

I certainly got a wake up call from this experience. One that reminds me that sometimes I am so caught up in planning for the future that I forget to live in the present. Over the week, we have spent more time living, doing things in the present, having fun and enjoying the moment. At the same time  trying not to worry too much about the future.

 



What are you doing to live in the present?

Linking up for IBOT today!

Five minute Friday - Grace

The last couple of weeks i have been looking forward to Friday nights and participating in Five minute Friday. The link has all the details if you want to join the fun!

This week's theme is Grace and here is my piece.

It has been a week in which grace has been abundantly supplied, even though underserved. In a week that goes by with so many different demands, our week was marked by an event that shakes one's life back in perspective.

I learnt as a child that grace is God's riches at Christ's expense. I relearnt it this week, as I came to know  and remember that in life it is not the things that matter, but that people do.

In that moment, the disagreements of the preceeding hours and days with my spouse fade into oblivion, i cannot even recall why they occurred. They are replaced with overwhelming love, with gentleness and concern.

Grace -  demonstrated to us by people around us, with offers to help in what ever way they could and for prayers on our behalf.

Grace - I saw it in action this week and am thankful that is in found in Christ.

In my life

Do you every wonder why certain people come into your life and then take up a place in your heart.

And then you can't remember when they were never part of your life or imagine they not being part of your life.

My dear SIL is one of those people for me.



I think my brother chose well or indeed we were fortunate.
Then again, they probably wouldn't have gotten married if she didn't get on with us. 

Whatever the case, we have been blessed with her in our lives. 

In her, I got a sister and a friend. What a bonus for me as I grew up with two brothers! I always wanted a sister, and for some reason we clicked and get on well!

Before I was married, I always spent time with my SIL and brother, and then even more time when the niece and nephews came on the scene.

Things have changed since the arrival of Little Man, but also as the kids have grown up. Weekends are always busy, so we don't get to spend as much time together, but it's always special when we catch up no matter how brief!

Today is my SIL's birthday! Happy birthday Ruthie!

Today I am thankful for having her in my life!

Who is in your life that you are thankful for?

Bush fires

On Sunday afternoon, I was in the kitchen baking around 4pm, when I noticed that the light in the backyard was magnificent. When I say magnificent , I mean just simply golden, that amazing colour that appears the hour after sunrise and before sunset. Out came the camera, and the iphone and off shooting I went! 

However it then dawned on me that this was unusual, and I realised that this beautiful warm light was because of the bush fires in the Greater Sydney area. 

As the sun set, the sky was ablaze in a big ball of red.

Over the last day, we have been listening and keeping up to date particularly with what's happening in the Blue Mountains region. The forecast is dire, if the fires merge, hundreds of families could be evacuated and homes potentially in the path of a mega fire. 

Even though we are 2 hrs away I feel connected to the area,  we have been to this lovely region on countless occasions. 

Living here in the urban Sydney, we are experiencing some of the effects of the fire, particularly the smoke and ash. It's somewhat surreal. 

It brings back memories of the fires in the early 90s, when the bush in the National Park near us was alight. The smoke settled over our house for days, the sky was an eerie crimson red. I recall preparing for it, doing things like packing up precious things, cleaning out the gutters filling them with water even though it was still hours away from us. Thankfully with water bombing and the skill of the firies, the fire was extinguished.

I can only imagine the suffering of those who have lost homes already, and 
am amazed at the courage of those who have already said that they will rebuild. I think of those those who wait for the fires as the weather deteriorates particularly over the coming days and imagine what an anxious time it must be.

Right now, all I can do is pray; for the conditions to ease, for safety of those who fight the fires,  for lives and homes to be spared!

Wordless Wednesday - My Mum

I am thankful for my Mum, who turns 70 today! Unfortunately she had a fall this week and ended up in the ER, and is recovering slowly. Happy Birthday Mum! 

Linking up for Wordless Wednesday with My little Drummer Boys, sakuraharuka and Twinkle in the Eye

Out of control

Sometimes life gets out of control, you feel like you are gasping for air... the past few days were just that.

Aside from having family staying with us which meant for a busy household, Little Man seemed to have develop a mystery illness. 

It started on Sunday night, the Little Man developed a tummy ache that was so unbearable that he wakes screaming and writhing in pain. 

His cries were heart wrenching and the feeling of helplessness stings me to the core, as I watch him; trying to console the inconsolable boy.

With call to the healthdirect helpline, a course of action is determined. 

A visit to the local medical centre yielded an all clear for appendicitis however cause of pain remained unknown. The recommendation is that further investigation is required. 

We decide to try and manage his pain using the usual painkillers trusting that it will work. It doesn't and we soon discover that it will be a long night which eventuates in a early morning to the ER. 

Fortunately we are the only patient in peads, we are attended to quickly and a diagnosis is provided - inflamation of the lymph nodes in the stomach Mesenteric Lymphadenitis to be the likely course. There was a good chance that it settle by the end of the week.

Last night, I camped out in the Little Man's room, thankful for a decision made previously on buying him a trundle bed! And not having to sleep on the floor in his room!

It made it possible to to console him and settle him as he awoke through the night. It thankfully was a better night.

Today we emerged out of that sleepless fog, remarkably the boy has bounced back to life as though nothing had happened. 

Right now, I hold my breathe as this day draws to a close, praying that he sleeps tonight and that the pain goes away. Hopefully we have turned the corner.

I am so thankful for the helpline, we have used it a few times now and is such a valuable resource that we can freely access, especially helpful outside of business hours. 

Operation Christmas Child

When my brother moved house earlier in the year, they culled, and as a consequence we were bestowed with a few boxes of toys.  These found their way in the garage waiting to be discovered. 

And finally they did this weekend past. With a few hours to spare, I decided in my wisdom to check out what was in them when the Little Man was not having a nap.  

To the Little Man it seemed like Christmas, there was so much excitement in his little body as each new toy seemed more fantastic then the previous.  More than a dozen toys have now found their way to clutter the house.

How blessed we are to have such great resources available. I know how spoilt our little boy is at Christmas, he gets lots of presentss, from us and from our immediate family. He's only 3 and he knows what a present is and who it's for. 

Then I imagine what it is like to be a child to have never received a present ever in their lives, and maybe only will ever get one during their childhood if at all.

Over the last 6 or 7 years, our family has been involved with Operation Christmas Child with our church.

The way it works is that we decide if we want to pack a box for a boy or a girl, and choose an age group.

We then pack a shoebox filled with useful things for the child; with something
* to love
* for school
* to wear
* to play with 
* for personal hygiene
* special

Include in a card , and donate $9 to cover the shipping costs. Then drop the box off at one of the drop off points. Finer details can be found from their website.

October is when boxes are collected. This year Operation Christmas Child is hoping to touch over 320,000 children's lives, could you do something to help?

I love that I can make a difference even if to one child. 

I am planning to take Little man shopping for this, and hopefully I can teach him something about generosity too!

It's IBOT with Jess today

the things kids say

Hanging out with my Sister in Law and Nephew with a trip to IKEA this week, gave me a chance to spend some time with my 10 yr old nephew.

We had never been shopping together before, so I was excited at the prospect of spending time with him this way.

As we wandered through the large showroom,  the conversation that my nephew had with his mother was enlightening as he pointed out bits of furnishing that would look good for their house, this would match with this etc...

So when I had my sights on a funky cushion cover, I half expected him to say something about the design of it. As I took a photo of the cushion cover, he said " are you taking a photo so that you can check it with your husband? ".

I was speechless..  how should I have responded? The things kids say.

Do you take photos to pre-check a purchase with your other half?

Back to the subject of the cushion what do you think? For a chocolate brown couch. Like?

Fear of what ifs

If you've been following my blog over the the last month or so, you may know that I was attending the Probloggers Conference on the Gold Coast. The 2 days of uninterrupted sleep was definitely a benefit of attending the conference held at the QT hotel for a sleep deprived mum. That was however not the highlight for me.  

Neither was it the delicious meals that we feasted throughout the 2 days at the QT Gold Coast, I think I put on a couple of kilos. Thankfully I went to Zumba last night!

For me the highlight of the 2 days was Darren Rowse's keynote speech.
As much as the event was geared towards blogging, my reflection on the themes of his speech is that some of it applies to life in general too.

One of the obstacles that bloggers face is the fear of what ifs...

What if no one likes me
What if i make the wrong choices
What if .....

This is true for life in general too, it is for me at least particularly when faced with activities that are unfamiliar, like change, like trying something new for the first time. Fear of the unknown.

Looking back on the last few months,  I can really relate on how fear can become an obstacle. How it can drive me to inaction and procrastination.

Having fear is not a bad thing, rather it is the action or inaction to it that is bad. Fear can be harnessed. If we're thinking of the worse that can happen, we also need to consider the benefits that can reaped as well. 

As I have found on my current self discovery journey when I have taken action despite the unknown. I have been pleasantly surprised by the results.

This isn't to say that it will be all roses, but I think I'd rather have tried and not succeed, than wonder what would have happened if I had taken action.

For me going to Progbloggers was pretty daunting; 450 attendees, of which there were  that I had communicated with and built a "relationship" with online . I only knew of one person who was going that I had met in real life. 

I could have chosen not to go to, I could have pulled the plug and stayed home. 
So glad i did go, so glad to have met some lovely people over the 2 days that I would not have otherwise crossed paths.

Quoting Darren - 'fear is a signal that something important is about to happen'
How true this is. 

I am looking forward to important things happening..
What about you, is the fear of what ifs holding you back?

More to come on what I learnt at PB 2013.

Spring - cultivating relationships

Spring time is a  time for spring cleaning, a time to planting, and a time to cultivate.

Which has gotten me thinking about friendships.

As I reflect on the on new friendships I have made in the last few years - having a child has created opportunities to make new friends, starting TAFE has done this too. 

Of course this place called the web and blogging have added to it.

I feel the opportunities have been created, as I have made concerted effort to put myself out there and share who I am.

Before child, few new friendships were made. This was one place that lacked investment. Perhaps due to the issue of time and feeling like I had more than enough friends. But then I also see that little time was invested in cultivating the relationships that existed.

I read this article on Simple Mom yesterday on  and found it quite insightful.
How often we get caught up in making our lives look perfect, that we fail to take hold of the opportunity to build relationships. We're too proud to invite people into our lives because we are held back by the messy house or fear that people might not like us.

Me ?


With some hindsight, this Spring, I am making effort to cultivate relationships.
This past week, I have caught up with a good old friend, by old I mean of longstanding in years, someone I grew up with. Over a coffee and a brownie of course.

It was invigorating to catch up someone who knows me well. Am already planning to meet up again soon!

What about new friends?

On Thursday I am heading to the Gold Coast to Probloggers to learn, but just as important  to meet some bloggers I have been building relationships in the last year or so. I will of course be making effort to meet new friends too!
So please say hi if you see me!


Have you made any new friends lately? What have or will you be doing to cultivate and grow your relationships?

Blogging with Jess today, it's Tuesday!